Elder Clark G. Gilbert
The Message
Elder Gilbert taught that disciples of Jesus Christ should not have to choose between truth and love. Christ demonstrated both.
He offered five principles: avoid unnecessarily contentious settings, find common ground, be a light, hold to truth even while reaching out in love, and stay anchored in Jesus Christ. Sometimes love means speaking. Sometimes it means listening. And sometimes the most Christlike response is choosing not to argue at all.
Start the Conversation
Read the summary of the message and the Try This at Home ideas with your family. Then say: “Let’s choose one way we can practice responding with both truth and love this week.”
Try This at Home
Listen Past the First Sentence
The next time someone says something you disagree with, don’t immediately prepare your answer. Ask one question and listen to the response. You may discover something underneath the disagreement that you couldn’t see before.
Find Common Ground First
Before discussing a difference, find something you genuinely share. Try: “I think we both care about” or “One thing we agree on is”
Know When Not to Answer
Not every disagreement needs a response. If a conversation is becoming angry or contentious, ask: “Would anything good come from continuing this right now?” Choosing silence can sometimes be an act of courage rather than surrender.
Be a Light Instead of Winning the Argument
Choose one belief that’s important to you and ask: “How could someone see this belief in the way I live?” Then practice it rather than explaining it.
Look for the Hurt You Can’t See
When someone’s behavior seems angry, unreasonable, or hostile, remind yourself: “There may be something here I don’t know.” You don’t have to excuse harmful behavior. Simply leave room for the possibility that you don’t have the whole story.
Find It in the Scriptures
Read Moroni 7:45, which Elder Gilbert used in describing the Christlike qualities needed when standing for truth: charity is patient, kind, not easily provoked, and rejoices in truth. Ask: Which of those qualities would make the biggest difference in a difficult conversation?
Choose Your Own
Choose another of Elder Gilbert’s five principles your family would like to practice this week.
Understand Before You Answer
The next time you disagree with someone, notice the urge to immediately explain, correct, defend, or persuade. Before responding, ask one genuine question. Then listen. Your goal isn’t to abandon what you believe. Your goal is simply to understand before deciding what needs to be said. Afterward ask yourself: “Did understanding this person change the way I wanted to respond?” You may still disagree. But now you are responding to the person not merely acting to the position they have taken
Did understanding this person change the way I wanted to respond?”You may still disagree.But now you’re responding to the person, not merely reacting to the position.
Check Back In
At the end of the week, talk as a family about what you noticed. Was there a time you listened instead of immediately responding? Did you discover something you hadn’t understood before? Did finding common ground change a conversation? Was there a time when choosing not to argue was the better choice? Did you find it difficult to hold to what you believe while still showing love? Did your experience help you understand Elder Gilbert’s teaching that truth and love should walk together?
No grading. No guilt. Just notice what happened.
